I Only Think of You Until My Last Breath

by: Melanie Mataga Magculang

It was early Spring when Park Kim Lee and Ji Sungjae migrated from New York to South Korea. They moved in a small village surrounded by different varieties of Tulips. Park Kim Lee is an English – Korean Teacher. Teaching is her passion and to teach is her mission while Ji Sungjae is a scout ranger. He is completely and sincerely devoted to his job. Life and living need not be so hard for them. They chose the simple things and find joy in nature’s simple treasures. And like a Tulip in a Spring, their relationship shines bright, blooms, and continue to grow and mature.

They hope and fervently believe that they built a strong foundation in their relationship and it's unshaken. But fate is really playful. Storms are really innate and ineluctable in a relationship. They separated ways because of their job and eventually they do not have time for each other. It made their relationship unhealthy. They always have petty quarrels and always questioned their worth. It seems that it’s a matter of priority. They tried to make their relationship work again and again but it was really hard to fix broken glass especially it’s not just once, twice, or thrice breaks.

It was not easy but they made it through. You can cut all the flowers but you can't keep spring from coming as they say. But it does not end with that. Sungjae was assigned to fight in a war but Park Kim Lee does not like it so she wants Seungjae to quit on his job. Seungjae explained it hundred times to Park Kim Lee why he should go but still, Park Kim Lee does not understand it so she decided to come up with an option. Seungjae will go in a war and end their relationship or Seungjae will quit on his job and continue their relationship burning and live happily and in peace. Seungjae was at a loss for words and runs out of whys for a moment because Park Kim Lee is someone he cannot send away anymore. She is his life, his world, and everything. On second thought, his job is his life too and he has taken an oath to defend the nation.

Like a Tulip in a Spring, their relationship has its beginning and an end. Time will pass by, the bright Tulips will fade. Seungjae decided to fulfill his job and for a meantime, he will leave Park Kim Lee. He believes that if Park Kim Lee truly loves him, sooner or later she will understand his sacrifices. Park Kim Lee accepted his decision with a magical smile but the inexplicable actions of her can find out she is lying, her eyes speak, she is dying inside. She breaks that mysterious engulf by her. She cannot let go Seungjae but she has to.

They parted ways and did not see each other for almost a year. But still, Park Kim Lee patiently waits for Seungjae without pause even though Seungjae chose his job over her. It’s hard to accept that you both love each other but you cannot be together. Time flies so fast, the longer she waits the more pain she feels. So Park Kim Lee decided to search for Seungjae. Since they do not have communication, it’s quite hard to look for him. A few months later, Park Kim Lee heard the news from Seungjae’s colleagues that Seungjae died during the war. Seunngjae’s best friend gave a flash drive to Park Kim Lee it has a video on it showing how truly, deeply, and madly in love, he is with Park Kim Lee and at the end of the video Seungjae express how afraid he is to see Park Kim Lee holding someone she loved more. And after that Seungjae says that he wants to marry Park Kim Lee again. He will quit his job and they will live a simple life when he came back. After watching the video Park Kim Lee almost dry her eyes because of great pain that she cannot stop from crying and she is full of regrets. Their promises for each other, their future plans, and everything are now impossible to happen. It hurts more than you could possibly imagine.

  

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